Album Name

Bad Hair Day

Artist

Weird Al Yankovic

Genre

POP

Release Date

1996.03.12

Release Agency

-

Weird Al Yankovic - Everything You Know Is Wrong
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
with a rabid wolverine in my underwear
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?
Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
but about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
and soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
and they took some Polaroids and said
I was a darn good sport
and as a way of saying thank you,
they offered to transport me back to any point
in history that I would care to go,
And so I had them send me back to last
Thursday night so I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yellin'
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
important doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil
twin when I got a nasty paper
cut and, well, to make a long story short,
it got infected and I died
so now I'm up in heaven with
St. Peter by the pearly gates
and it's obvious he doesn't like the
Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway,
but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity
and every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
doesn't really matter anymore,
because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
(Everything you know is)
Everything you know is wrong